Friday, May 2, 2008

no stones

today was Becky's birthday. Last night while she worked night shift a small group gathered to sing happy birthday, open presents, and stare at an unlit candle when the clock struck midnight.

One of the advantages of living where you work; your friends can always come for a visit.
I am really glad Becky has come back to the ship. She was here for three months last outreach when we realized we were kindred spirits. It's always nice to meet kindred spirits.

Last week we were sitting on the dock drinking hot chai tea ( the Liberian heat..), formulating outragous adventures for our lives, laughing at my most recent catastrophe (which could be a great many things) and coming to the realization that we have no clue what is in store for our lives. You just take it a day at a time.

When Becky left in December I never thought I'd be drinking hot tea with her in April. But three years ago I never would have thought I would spend a year living on a hospital ship.
Life really is adventure when seen through the eyes of faith. I would be a liar if I claimed faith's perfect vision, I am certain I am at the least legally blind, but I find my soul clings to the moments of clarity that our found in God's Word.

Psalm 34:4-5
I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto Him and were lighted: and their faces were not ashamed.

Joshua 1:5
I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

1 John 3: 19-20
And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For is our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.

Faith is really the fruit of surrender. If we surrender to the Lord we give up our rights, our dreams, our hopes, our plans, our desires, and trust in faith, that He will fulfill every promise made according to His wisdom. The problem lies when our wisdom and God's wisdom are not aliened and the battle of wills ensues. Ultimately, it comes to this

2 Corinthians 2:5
That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

At the end of the day I choose if I will trust in God or trust in myself. A rather obvious choice really. It's just my brain likes to think it's smart.

However, allegiance to myself is complete bondage. Only when I let go and accept what I don't always understand is there freedom. The pressure of trying to maintain and create and uphold fizzles. I am free simply to be God's daughter and let Him tenderly provide all my needs. And He is a very good Father.

Matthew 7:9-11
Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them which ask Him?

I have been given no stones.

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