Sunday, March 30, 2008

to be still

“Sit still my daughter.” Ruth 3:18

I am not very good at sitting still. I often feel as if my brain were running in ten conflicting directions at the same time, which could be the source of my continual series of near miss disasters (For example, I nearly dropped a plastic plate on my bunkmates head when I crawled out of bed this morning..I felt terrible about it! Poor Michelle!!).

As I near the end of my time in Africa (I will be leaving in two months, unbelievable!!) I find myself trying to figure out what on earth one does after spending a year living on a hospital ship in West Africa. It’s always nice to have a plan or at the very least goal of some sort. For the past three years coming here has been my goal. And now it’s almost over. And the only future plans I can come up at the moment are to take the summer off, go to Coatsville with Sr. High (it’s a camp we run for inner city’s wonderful!!), and spend some time at the beach with my family. Which all sounds very nice to me but provides very little future delineation.

Uncertainty can breed contempt or it can make life completely exciting. The best assessment of the Christian life I have ever heard is that it is a complete adventure. I could not agree more.

I find it easy in my head to run ahead to the future and try to precisely figure out what is next. To work hard at creating my own security and carefully devised plan. To get so caught up in my own strength, my own business, my own ideas, that I miss the joy of today and forget the Lord who simply wants to be with me. When I come before the Lord I find Him telling me to “Sit still my daughter.”

To sit still and allow Him to bring all good things into fruition. To sit still and enjoy His creation. To sit still and find the joy in each day. To sit still and let His hands mold the vessel of my life. To sit still and enjoy His presence. To still and be confident in His love. To sit still and trust His wisdom. To sit still and surrender to His authority. To sit still and know that He is God.

I have really been enjoying my time with the patients. Everyday is filled with some priceless experience. As my time here comes to and end I hope to enjoy and appreciate the privilege of being here rather than become pre-occupied with the future. To sit still in the midst of each day. To learn to love the Lord and to love others.

I have much to learn.

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